TO MY FUTURE HUSBAND
My future hubby, where hath thou na?
I am tired of waiting ooo…
Can’t you hear me ni?
Abi you carry earphones dey waka ni?
You want me to show you the “Mide Martins Abiodun” side of me ni?
(Sorry, I don’t usually talk like this… I am very respectful oo)
Aren’t you getting old ni, you are close to 40 na, and I am 30+
Do you want the Naija weather to make your Oyibo skin turn black for me ni (Okay, thank God it has been raining, so that your colour is still intact)
But still I don’t want you to be bending like an old man before you locate me na. Did I hear you say it is because you are tall and you need to bend to be able to pass through a small doorway so you don’t knock your head ? Well, then I believe you.
I am already even losing my cooking skills self, when I did not see you nko since 1990 tiri gbeku. Did I just hear you say cooking is your hobby? Well, that is perfect.
Oh hubby, you know I am 30+, I can’t do too many chores. Did I just hear you say we will do that together? Perfect again.
Sweetim, I can do any kind of washing, but clothes count me out. Oh! I should not worry, the washing machine will do the job. WowWee!
Hubby I have a phobia or should I say I am allergic to some areas like Bariga, Shomolu, Isale Eko, Ajegunle, Mushin and its likes, I want somewhere on the Island, even if Banana is not on the ISLAND, but don’t let Lagos be on the Island…Oh you have gotten a place for us outside Nigeria? Oh boy! Sorry, Oh hubby, you are a darling and you are mine alone.
My legs have started throbbing, I don waka too much as I was dropping proposals for people to advertize on Ogefash BLOG. You know na, I also want to support the family financially … What did you say? You have a car gift for me…Superb
Ehem! I do a lot of creative thinking so…What? Yeah, what did you say? You are not just a creative thinker but a fast thinker as well…Wow! What more can I say
Sorry oo, shey story yi oti ma poju sha? I am actually not the quiet type, I am quick-tempered but not in a harmful way. Oh my God! Did you just say you can manage attitudes even though you are as gentle as a lamb? Wow I adore you for that..
I am not a prayer warrior oh especially at home o, but I pray sha. I am more of a terrific warrior in the room sha where we can both move at the same speed in our bed as in after we walk down the aisle. Did I hear you say you are good at both? Interesting!
Some people are even tired of praying for me to God concerning you. Did I hear you say you will never get tired of praying for us? Wow Fantastic! That makes the two of us then!
Ehen, this wedding you know it has to be soon o, they have said I should marry before my next birthday, July 4, 2019, but you know I am still hustling ooo, though I believe by God’s favour I would have made it big before then, so how are we going to do it na? What? Oh money is not a problem. Ahah Honey(10x), I love you (20x)
Looks are very deceiving, so I met with @chic_makeup_ to make me up just for you, hope you would still recognize and love me when you see me without the make up? Oh, you would love me with or without make up. Kisses!
That reminds me I had to stop by @ Ayodele Jayne patterns to cloth me just for you, I hope I am not too slim for you in the navy blue dress? Oh! You love me just the way I am. I love you baby.
I had to go to Diva Cakes and tell them to write my age on the cake so you can properly see that age is not on my side again… I am 30+ darling
Meanwhile all these small boys in their 20’s with their sugar-coated cliche words and with nothing to offer keep disturbing me. What should I do now? I should tell them that l am already taken!
Ehn,taken ke? nibo? You better come on time o before I ….
(Sorry, I don’t usually talk like this, I am very respectful oo…)
XOXO FROM OGEFASH!