[It’s T.W.O, Talk With Ogefash Baby]
When is the best time to marryOgefash’s reply
Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines “Marriage” as “The state of being united as spouses in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law.”
In layman’s language: Marriage is the legal or recognized union between a man and a woman to become husband and wife.
Now, let me break down the ages people marry and what it is called:
Ages 21-26: This is early marriage
Ages 27-33: This is late marriage
Ages 34- 40: This is over-late marriage
Ages 40+: This is God’s grace marriage.
The best time to marry is when you have discovered yourself. So, if you can discover yourself within those age brackets, as early as 21, good for you. Lock marriage in instantly, sharply, don’t dull.
I pray God gives you the grace to discover yourself early enough, so, you don’t fall into late or over-late marriages.
What does it really mean to discover yourself?
Discovering yourself otherwise known as self-discovery is the act of uncovering what makes you happy for a living, what/who you desire to be in life, and what you want, as against the desire of other people for you, or not conforming to societal norms or being pressured by the society of your family to be someone you don’t want to be.
I reiterate you must discover yourself before you walk down the aisle. This is very important.
Now, the reason most marriages are crumbling Today is that either the husband or the wife, or both of them, are discovering themselves after marriage.
Now, there may be issues if you are discovering yourself after marriage. Why?
This is because what you have probably discovered about yourself may be who/what your spouse has vowed never to marry.
For instance, after marriage, as a wife, you discovered that you have a flair for acting. Meanwhile, if the husband you married has vowed never to marry an actress [which you weren’t before you guys married], the marriage would have issues.
Also, after marriage, as a husband, you discovered that you have a flair for music. Meanwhile, if the wife you married has vowed never to marry a musician [which you weren’t before you guys married], the marriage would have issues.
It is only in rare cases that you may be lucky to find a spouse who is pleased with your self-discovery.
Some years back, in 2019 precisely, I dated this Yoruba guy. His name is [ehm, never mind]. He is just pot-bellied and had a low-self esteem. So my Yoruba ex, I teased him about going into the movie industry. Without mincing words, he said he was going to throw me and my load out of his house if I ever venture into the industry. As an author, I gave him my novel to read, and he defaced the book and abandoned it. He did not even read the book. And my blogging career, he did not see the light in it.
So, even though I had discovered myself when we were yet to marry, it was obvious that he wasn’t in support of my career, and, we would have a lot of issues in marriage. So there was no need to continue the relationship or rekindle old flames even though he begged for years to come back into my life. But, it would be so silly of me to accept him. This is because I am still a blogger and author. I am also planning to join the movie industry [not full-time] and start my production. Moreso, he insulted me for being slim. He called me an H.I.V person, called me fish, he even said I was going to marry my laptop and phone. He hurled all sorts of insults at me, yet he wanted me back. It is crazy, he is crazy.
So, now you see the importance of discovering yourself before marriage. So, if you have been able to discover yourself don’t let anybody delay you, marriage is the next thing, regardless of the age, especially if you are prepared for marriage.
If the person is not ready, cut the person off. Don’t let anybody tie you down for long in the name of a “long relationship.” Why have a 10-year-old relationship when you can have a ten-year-old child?
There is this guy I met, an Edo guy, somehow he charmed me, and I can’t stop thinking about him. I fell in love with him. But somehow, this guy doesn’t want a serious relationship, he wants a “fun” relationship whereas, I want a serious relationship.
Can you just imagine, at my age, I should still be doing a “fun” relationship? To make matters worse he even said “I am lucky that I am not married. He is trying to make marriage look scary.
Tommy, if you can view me [Youtube] or if you can read this, I think you are high
To cut the story short, Tommy and I are no longer together. I can’t believe he said that about marriage. If you are not a nun, marriage should be something you should desire, for love, companionship, and procreation.
Honestly, love is a beautiful thing, and marriage is more beautiful, that is if you marry when you have discovered yourself. So, don’t be in a hurry to marry. Your timing is different from other people’s timing. Dumebi’s marriage timing is different from Meme’s marriage timing likewise Azubuike’s marriage timing. There is a set time for everybody to marry, at the set time for you. “Ma fi ikanju la obe, obe gbibgona, a jo e lenu”