Posted in 9.7. TALK WITH OGEFASH

TALK WITH OGEFASH (T.W.O) EP 5: I AM OVER 30 YEARS OF AGE; SHOULD I MARRY ANY MAN? SHOULD I HAVE A CHILD OUT OF WEDLOCK?”

IG @ogefashblog.

I was just 22 years old when my ex-boyfriend wanted

to “make an honest woman out of me” even though he already married another. I immediately turned him down outrightly. I however feel sad now for doing that because the right suitor hasn’t come my way yet. I think if I had allowed my ex, my first child would have been about 12 years old today!: Sent by Ogefash Photo Blog Follower

Meaning of some words: To have a child out of wedlock means the child was born by parents not legally married/outside marriage. To make an honest woman/man out of someone means to marry that person.

Ogefash: Hmmm, I know as a lady, the pressure to marry is always much especially when you are on the three decades age “30” years and over 3 decades.

Ogefash Quote: I really don’t know why people who have thousands of reasons to stay alive decide to kill themselves for one reason.

Madu (People), biko (please) life is worth living for. You need to fight that Grave call regardless challenges- Ogefash- https://ogefash.reviews/2017/10/29/the-grave-call-suicide-not-an-option-2/

At about that age, you are extremely tensed because most people around you stylishly keep reminding you either by spoken words or gestures that “Ile omo obirin kin pe su” which translates to “women experience menopause early.” My dear, if it is because of that, you need to quickly remind them also about the 68 years old woman who gave birth to twins after 42 years in marriage. This woman must have married earlier than 30; perhaps at age 24.

You are tensed because most people around you keep reminding you either by spoken words or gestures that “your friends have been picked why is yours different?” You need to quickly remind them that everybody has got his or her time.

You are tensed because most people around you keep reminding you either by spoken words or gestures that “you are too choosy hence the reason you are yet to settle down.” You need to also quickly remind the busybodies that knowing your worth doesn’t mean you are choosy. Let them know how you dated the dwarf, giant, intellectual, non-intellectual, dumbo, pot bellied, 6-packs, dark skinned, light skinned, ugly, beautiful; the impossible men; but they all turned out to be “Great” in the opposite meaning. I just said “Great” exactly in the voice of Lizzo in the song Truth hurts (View the review here https://www.google.com/url?q=https://ogefash.reviews/2020/02/05/lyricsmeaningtranslation-music-review-truth-hurts-by-lizzo-why-lizzo/&sa=U&ved=2ahUKEwifzq3E24vpAhUP3qQKHWILCYYQFjAAegQIDBAB&usg=AOvVaw2lcGKZy_3qeIUbP-T0iAj9 )

You are tensed because most people around you keep reminding you either by spoken words or gestures that “all your married friends are no longer friends with you; you are just friends with those that are single!” You need to remind them again that you have no problem with that as long as they are the sensible ones.

You are tensed because most people around you keep reminding you either by spoken words or gestures that “your friend has a child out of wedlock and she is showing off that child, so why can’t you do the same”

Hello there, if the numerous aforementioned points are among or all the reasons you feel pushed to marry any man or have a child out of wedlock; then get ready to be knocked down emotionally and in all ways.

Fine I understand it is not easy to be lonely at 30. I know you are scared of menopause. I know It is not easy to subdue some cravings. It is not friendly on you being alone. You need someone to call pet names and vice versa, you need someone to buy gifts and vice versa, you need someone to cuddle and vice versa, you need someone to pray with, and you need someone to put that cock on your vulva. You also desire to procreate and see how the creation of someone in your image looks like.

But still, I must advise you to be patient. Remember this idiom “The patient dog eats the fattest bone.” Yes, still hold on! Be patient! I know this may sound cliché, but in all honesty, the right person for you is around the corner and making himself better for you; but you just don’t know it.

I reiterate again, be patient, because all men are not the same likewise all women. There are good men and there are bad men. There are good women and there are equally bad women. So if you rush into marriage with just “any” man, and that “any man” happens to be a bad man; then you may as well prepare yourself to rush out of it. Are some married women not telling you what they are going through in the hands of their husbands and in –laws? Are you not seeing them in your area? I hope your hasty decision to marry just any man will not make you a victim of domestic violence; the domestic violence that would lead to your death.

I reiterate again be patient and don’t be in the category of people that say “Oh I just need a child only; no committment, no marriage please!” So what then becomes of you if something happens to that child? The story trending in my country now is about a woman that lost all her children on the same day. Ain’t praying such for you or your loved ones; but just set your priorities right!

In conclusion, I must let you know that I am over 30 years of age and I am unmatched not to talk of planning a marriage with a spouse. But I don’t let anyone pressure me into marriage. If you tell me to go and marry, I would give you the assignment of finding me a right spouse like I always tell my elder sister @Mrs. Adeleye whenever she brings up the issue of marriage.

So, please darling, don’t be pressured into marriage or having a child out of wedlock because someone says you are close to menopause and you should just find any man to impregnate you. Don’t be pressured into marriage because of what backbiters are saying about you; I can assure you that their gossip would make God speedy your requests. Marry because you are convinced that it is the right thing to do at the right time with the right person. Let it be because you desire a true companion; an everlasting companion that would complement you and make you happy always.

Note that if you allow people push you into making hasty and wrong decisions, when wrong befalls you and you go to them for help, trust me, they would push you away.

Stay away from people who keep reminding you about your single status, your age and are pushing you to marry any man or have a child out of wedlock because you are age 30! The choice is yours. Remember the idiom; the patient dog eats the fattest bone.

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Author:

Born in the 80’s, Ogefash picked up writing early in her secondary school days at International School, University of Lagos (Unilag). She took it professionally after her university days at the University of Lagos where she graduated from the Department of Mass Communication. She is a writer of several short stories some of which have been published in the magazines. Some of her popular stories are: A Night to Remember, The Special Gift, Haunted, Preparing Ahead of Time amongst others. Her novel "Looming Danger" published in December 2015, was highly recommended by people. She has worked with several media outlets some of which are Spur Magazine and Upcoming Magazine. She is an educationist. With her love for children, she took up the task of supervising and taking care of children at the After School Department of Heritage School before her resignation. Her unique strory telling and song teaching skills endeared her more to the kids she worked with. Ogefash is a goal getter, a pace setter and always strives for excellence. She likes to impact and solve problems in a creative way regardless how challenging they may be. She has in-depth knowledge in reporting, editing, social media and other media related works. She is a seasoned writer and very passionate about her work. Interestingly, her blog is the first in Nigeria to start reviewing Nigerian and foreign movies and also write the movies' plots scene by scene. Ogefash blog is also the first to translate songs, interprete and give a full detailed analysis about music and artistes in Nigeria, Africa and America before other blogs started emulating her style. While other blogs provided just music lyrics alone, we took it higher by not only providing lyrics, but translating, interpreting and analyzing as well. It is also the first blog to give detailed analysis of adverts. Interestingly, Ogefash blog also known as Ogefash Photo Blog is the first blog all over the world to blog with lots of interesting pictures to support all articles. Ogefash says "I don't keep male friends because they always say "sex" is part of friendship. I don't keep female friends because they are always bitchy. I only keep people I can call more than a friend!" Ogefash has an affinity for TV reality shows. In 2018, she represented Nigeria in the PanAfrican TV reality game show "The Maltavator Challenge" powered by Nigeria's number one malt drink packed full of energy giving vitamins B1, B2, B3 and B6;Malta Guinness. The show brought together four African countries Nigeria, Ghana, Ethiopia and Coted'ivoire who competed for the grand prize of 20,000 dollars. Undaunted by any task in her field, Ogefash is highly energetic and creative. She is a rare gem and a gift to this generation.